Inspired by true events
Dramatis Personae
STEVE.....A Guy
DOROTHY
ANN
LILY..........Chicks
CURTAIN
All enter small liquor store with very cramped aisles; the players
move about the store in single file, inside each others' personal
space. STEVE is wedged in the middle of the group, though is not as
pleased to be in the midst of a bunch of attractive women as you might
think, because he knows Vag-talk is imminent.
DOROTHY: So we were in the Pleasure Place the other day? They have
like top shelf dildos. Fucking $250 glass dildos in a locked case
behind the counter. Why would you put that in your vag? It's $250,
bitch, get a boyfriend! It's free and buys you dinner!
LILY: I don't know, I mean, if it's your vagina I think you'd want to
spend the money. I mean yeah....a boyfriend'll buy you dinner but a
dildo....? Usually better. Sorry Steve.
STEVE:
ANN:Oh! Oh! You know Liz? She got me a dildo for my birthday!
LILY: Nice! When was your first dildo, Steve?
STEVE exits, weeping softly.
CURTAIN.
Part II
LIZ: Oh Ann, Steve wrote a play about your Dildo
ANN: WHAT!?!?
STEVE shows her the play.
ANN: How many people have seen this?
STEVE: Not too many
LIZ: You know that's not the dildo I thought I was getting you
ANN: I'm sorry?
LIZ: It says it's a chocolate cream filled Dildo. We thought it was
actually made of chocolate and were a little upset to find out it was
a real dildo
ANN (almost indignant): What am I supposed to do with a candy dildo?
LIZ: eat it?
ANN: Oh, yeah. I guess. I mean, I can still eat this one. And I'm sure
it'll be just as tasty.
STEVE exits, weeping softly, taking notes on the conversation to write
about later.
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